Derrick Kapchinsky be charitable! There’s lots of other context at play here.

Since we’re talking about a home group, right, there’s kind of a…logical loop you can fall into. At least I did. It’s my home, I’m the host, and I set the expectations: that we’ll collaborate, play hard, and if anyone’s ready to move on, let’s say so and then move on.

In my most recent thing, I recruited a player into my home group that turned out to not be able or willing to meet one or more of those expectations. And the entire group, over time, began to conform around this person I had invited in: no longer collaborative, no longer playing hard, no longer speaking up when we’re not having fun. Well, the buck has to stop somewhere. And since I’m hosting, curating, and setting expectations, yes, it’s “my thing.”

Would any particular safety tool have helped in that situation? Maybe! Maybe. I don’t disagree that safety tools can have a place in home groups and I even said so up above.