Ironically, the one thing you said you don’t want to do — the aftermath chat — is a thing I do, though in a punctuated form.

I ask everybody “what do you want to see more of? what’s the most important thing to your character that happened in this session? what did you do or see someone else do that you particularly liked?” I find by getting my players to clarify their focus, to explicitly state what the highlights are, it helps me figure out what I should focus on when we next hit the table. If everyone liked a particular NPC, then when I need someone, I aim for them. If people like big action pieces, then I use my moves to aim for more of those.